Paul the Octopus

There were so many times in my life when I have thought, if only i were someone else. Sometimes it can be a CEO, sometimes it is a sportsman and sometimes it is even a Film Hero. But never in my life I thought I would feel like this about an Octopus!! An octopus which is small enough to be confined to an aquarium. :)

Why would I not feel like this? He has his own wikipedia page, created by others in his honour, he has come in TV shows, and he even has 2.9 Million search results for himself in Google as of date and the number is growing by the second. He is famous, he is a brand today and he even has enemies!!! Looks like he is gathering fame through all his eight tentacles. I am utterly disadvantaged with only two hands to gather mine.

Imagine, when Spain won the football, the first thought that crossed millions of minds is 'Hey! Paul was right'. There were millions of facebook messages, millions of smses and a number of phonecalls just to say this. No one in my colleagues remembered that I also predicted the same. Forget me, most people across the world predicted the same, and yet these remain unsung heros, while Paul has gathered fame along with the molluscs.

And when I heard about the age of Paul, it is depressing. At a little more than 1/10th of my age, his fame is 1 million times more, only compounding my misery by another factor of 10. That lead me to the (soul?) searching question everyone is asking now a days "what exactly is an octopus capable of anyway?"

i was thinking, since its head does not seem to have any shape, he has obviously no brain, a prized possession which is protected by a hard skull in human. To my amazement I found that octopus is very intelligent sea creature. What more, his limbs have their independant brain as well. I was happy to note this, since I unconsciously became a fan of him, more like I do for many famous people. But, a colleague of mine walked to my desk and said, "Oh, then citibank can employ these Octopuses".

That is when the realization struck me how serious a competition this could be. With eight tentacles he can handle four times what I handle and would be very ambidextrous. All they would need is water proof keyboards which can float in aquariums. What more, if psychic is more natural state for them, then they can predict markets, consumer choices better than me. They can manage 'people' better because they know what the other person is thinking, though the 'people' itself may be redefined as Octopuses. I can imagine all the glass cabins at citi replaced with Glass aquariums.

Cost cutting! People will never cut employees anymore. All they need is a feed of mollusc on daily basis. Yes, training cost will increase given their short lifespan, but then there is no HRA, no family allowance, no life insurance and labour laws.

It is time to go with this idea to my bossess, No! directly to the CEO, because all these people would be replaced anyway. See you guys!!